BUSH On Dr. Judy

Thanx Vicadin-4@juno.com!


Jagger = J

Dr. Judy = Judy

Person on the line = Caller

____________________

Jagger: This is Jagger with Dr. Judy our certified sex therapist, talking

about love, sex and relationships our number is 1-800-242-0100, so if you

have a question or a problem tonight you can call us, lines aren't jammed

right now, and Drag Queen tonight yes, in living colour. And also

tonight we'd like to welcome our honorary love doctors, the guys from

Bush!

[Bush] Helloooo!!! Hello, Hello, Hello!!

Dr. Judy: Great CD by the way

Gavin: Thank you

J: and there not from Seattle, which everybody thinks, cuz you got that

Seattle sound.

Gavin: Yeah, or Boston, or Boston.

J: Or Boston, right their from England, which was a big topic last week

on Lovephones... Men with English accents.

Judy: Right. Are they better lovers?

Gavin: You have to ask them...

Judy: I mean not that you can (?) compare

Gavin: Yeah.. [laughs] we don't know (?)

Judy: Are you good?

Gavin: Are we good?

Judy: yeah

Gavin: At what?

J: At lovin'

[low talking in background, I can't understand]

J: You know how the French have that reputation?

Judy: [more low talking i cant understand] How would you say to someone,

'I love you'? How would you say it?

J: Well, yeah, introduce yourself...

[Gavin says something really low...]

Judy: So Gavin, How would you tell somebody, i love you?

Gavin: I would tell them, treat them the right way.

J: No, what would you say? You gotta verbalize (?) it, say I love you

more than, stains in my underwear..

Gavin: that's very nice of you... uhh. I don't know, maybe I'll just say

it in the right way... the right tone of voice...

Judy: and what would be the, lets hear the tone of voice.

[Laughing]

Judy: Well what do you say to your girlfriend?

Robin: Where's my dinner?

[laughter]

Gavin: Well, I tell her how much I miss her, since I'm away all the

time.

Judy: okay, but when you want to communicate to her how much you care,

what would you say?

Gavin: I tell her how much I love her, and how I would rather not be

anywhere else other than where she is.

J: Yeah, that's it!!

Robin: AHH, you got the answer!!!

J: Thank you Gavin

Gavin: They squeezed it out of me, they squeezed it out...

Judy: That's right, rung it outta him!

J: There she is. They just dragged his girlfriend in here.

Judy: Yeah, what does he say to communicate that he loves you?

Jasmine: He just tells me he misses me most of the time.

All: AWWWWW

Jasmine: But it's the dog, it's the dog, not me, it's our dog he missed

most.

Judy: It's the dog, I see

J: More than you, sometimes that happenes.

Judy: Does he let the dog get into bed with you?

Jasmine: Yes

Judy: He does?

Gavin: Not what we were doing what we were talking about before though.

You know that little thing we were talking about before?

Robin: Who's little thing?

Gavin: Moving on to someone else's little thing...

Nigel: So Gav, sexually... umm how'd you...

Gavin: The bus

[laughter]

J: I don't know where wer'e going with all that, but Eddie, lets go to

Brooklyn.

Gavin: It's great to have him here

Caller: All right

J: What's up Eddie, your on with Bush

Caller: What's up Jagger, Dr. Judy, Bush... Kickin ass band!

J: Oh definately! We got Gavin, Nigel Dave, and uh, Robin, there all

here.

Caller: Coolness, Gavin, Good deal.

J: allright so whats up?

Caller: Allright I got a nice story for you to tell!

Gavin: Allright

J: Lets see if we can help you, go ahead.

Caller: All right here we go, it starts off like this, uh your not going

to beleive this it's kinda wicked, but I'm gonna tell ya anyway...

J: Okay

Caller: Me and my brother Pete right were in Tiawana (SP?) about a month

ago. right, and uh, you know how those hookers always come up to you, and

like give you sexual favors for like a little bit of american money, for

their pesos (SP?) or whatever?

J: Sure

Nigel: No

Caller: No, he says.. Nooo...

J: No, these guys don't know that

Robin: Never been to Tiawana

Caller: It's coolness how they come from England. Want a spot of

cheese? (?) Alright but that's besides the point. But anyway ya know

this girl comes up, she says ya know, I'll do you and I'll do your

brother for this amount of money, whatever alright? My brother wan't

with it, you know I was, cuz I'm just that type of guy.

J: Your a pig

Caller: I'm a pig, and I'm a pig.. ya know.. anyway, what happens is,

then she comes up to me and hse says, "hey, ya know, come with me, follow

me and im gonna take you to this room.." and this room is a big room

with a lot of holes in it, okay? "and what I want you to do when you get

into this room, I want you to insert your penis into one of these holes.

Judy: The gloy holes!

Caller: Yeah, the glory holes!

Robin: I think I know the story

Caller: I'm not putting my penis inside some Mexican hole.

J: Right, behind hole number 1 we have...

Caller: I feel like Malty Hall (??) Jesus Christ.

J: So your there sticken it in the hole...

Caller: Yeah, I'm sticken it in the hole, ya know, and she says, "I'm

gonna be on the other side and I'm gonna be doin' ya" outta no where,

and I don't mean out of somehwhere, out of NO WHERE, this big biker dude

come like breaking down the door.

[Laughing]

Caller: and he goes, "Hey man, you guys ripped me off this freakin,

this guys behind the door!" I was like... "Wait wait wait.." So I'm

zippering up my pants and im like ya know, "lets stop, lets stop.." So

the biker dude, he's going nuts, and ya know, theres guys behind the

wall!! It's just like 3 dollars a pop, no wonder it was 3 dollas a

pop...

Judy: Was it good?

J: Did you cum?

Caller: Yeah, Yeah, I came, I came right at the freakin door!

[Laughter]

Gavin: So what are you complaing about? where's the problem?

Caller: Ya know Malty Hall (??) wasn't good for me. ya know? I got the

BONUS prize, i guess.

J: you got the boner prize.

Robin: you got your 3 dollars worth

Caller: I thought that would be interesting, I just wanted to say whats

up to my girlfriend, and my brother Pete out there, and my friend Mark,

and everybody else...

Gavin: i bet she's glad to hear that story.

[Laughter]

J: She wont be puttin her lips around that anytime soon... alright

Eddie, thanks for sharing with us...

Gavin: Go, go wash.. (?)

J: Wow, uh, Melissa?

Caller: I'm sorry, Hi Jagger Dr. Judy, Bush. I have a problem...

J: Yes

Caller: Everything I do, I can't get a boyfriend

Everybody: Awwwwwwww....

Robin: I'm the same

Judy: Look at that, oh, your the same? How's that?

[laughing]

Judy: Ohhhh... your the same.. <sarcasm>

J: Who said that, Dave?

Robin: Robin said it actually... but I was only joking, honest.

Judy: Really.. You can't get a boyfriend. So, what do you think your

not doing right?

Caller: I have no idea. I like write them letters and everything to

tell them how I feel and stuff.

J: How's your chest look?

Judy: Ohhhhhh..... Jagger?

Bush: ohhh....

Robin: Cheap shot

Judy: Yeah really... you write them letters? Maybe that's a little too

forward?!

Gavin: Who's they?

Caller: Well, I don't know. Cuz like all my friends and everything,

they have boyfriends and stuff, and they fool around like when we go to

movies and stuff, i feel like so left out...

J: Are you a little homely lookin?

Caller: No, I'm good looking, I'm okay.

Judy: But what do you put in these letters? I think that's what Gavin

was relating to...

Caller: No, It's not like really bad or anything It's just like ya know

just like...

Judy:Well what kind of letters? You just know these people vagely and

you write them letters?

Caller: Yeah, cuz like they'll be my friends, and everything

Judy: and what do you say in the letter?

Caller: I just tell them like, Like I've liked you since the beginning

of the year or something like that.

J: obviously that approach is not working.

Judy: Ya know, thats very sweet of you that you want to do that, but you

dont have any feedback yet that that letter would be wlecome, I think you

better wait with the letter

J: I was at camp one summer and i got a letter from a girl on my street

who said the exact same things, and it totally turned me... (makes

whooshing noise)

Judy: Why's that?

J: It just it frightened me... i dont know, I was frightened.

Judy: well here we have 5 guys in the studio, heres the 4 guys from

Bush, what do you suggest? What should she do to get a guy?

Robin: Do you drink?

J: Wait a minute... the guys giving me a hard time asking about her

breats.. yeah Robin asks... "Do you drink?"

Robin: Yeah, do you drink?

Caller: umm. No.

Robin: Alcohol, no, well, I suggest you start.

Judy: NOOOOO!

Gavin: Anyway, that was our drummer speaking... and uh

J: thanks Robin!

Judy: that'll be the last skins hes gonna knock here!

Robin: you asked me

J: Nigel help her out a little bit

Nigel: so do you go out and talk to guys, or do you just sorta shy away

from the altogether?

Caller: what?

J: do you have conversations with them? do you talk to them?

Caller: Yeah I talk to them

Nigel: so, and you never feel any sort of...

Gavin: how old are you, excuse me?

Caller: 16

Gavin: 16?

Robin: oh, dont panic.

Gavin: what about school and stuff? you dont hang with people at

school?

Judy: alright so, what would appeal.. come on GUYS, if you want the

girls to get it right then they have to have some instructions, so, what

i... [cut off]

Nigel: Lingerie

[laughter]

Judy: There ya go, Nigel says Lingerie

J: Lingerie, cocktails and cigarettes.. your in!!

Nigel: and Bush CD's apparently

[more Laughter]

J: tickets to their concert tomorrow night at Irving Plaza

Judy: I can't beleive you guys cannot come up with come concrete

suggestions here to make it easier for the women!

Gavin: Well, maybe she shouldnt go chasing that, maybe it will just come

to her. 16, that's not such a rush.

Judy: Come to her? She wants to take some action, and some.. be a

little pro-active, I think that's positive, so what should she.. this is

a very important question.. what should a poor girl do, to let a guy know

that she's interested?

Nigel: Make those strange faces at them.

Judy: strange faces

J: Yeah, flirting there ya. Flirting is on the board! okay.

Gavin: A little flirting

Judy: Strange faces

Nigel: Skipping. Skipping's good. Skip by them

Judy: Skipping, skip by them, okay?

Robin: in a short skirt

Gavin: But all of these things are just these general terms as to what

you might approach someone, and really everyone is going to be

different, so when your hanging out with them, ya know you just.. maybe

spending more time with people, and not writing to them after you first

meet them, thats a bit scary ya know?

Nigel: and get yuourself first

Judy: what do you suggest masterbate, what are you looking at me funny

Gavin? nigel with your eyes and stuff, were you suggesting that?

Nigel: No, certainly not, perish the though. (??)

J: Melissa, arent you glad you called this evening, these guys are just

immensly helpful.

Gavin: yeah, sorry

Judy: yeah really...

Gavin: because there's no general clue as to what you should do, that's

ridiculous to say theres one way of doing it.

J: well, what else are you gonna do... you gotta flirt a little bit

Robin: Well, I was gonna say go out for a drink with him, but she's not

old enough yet...

J: have a soda

Robin: its a great nice social thing to do ya know its not so American

as it is European. but...

Judy: Well, you should go out for some Chinese food!

Robin: Yeah yeah, yeah.. TALK! Talk!!

J: Talk, don't write letters

Judy: I suggest that you find something that you think would be a fun

activity like bowling or something like that, and you go. say "lets go do

this on a Satuday afternoon!" very low key anxiety provoking

J: not date-like, so that kinda takes that edge off

Judy: yeah, say, "lets go hang, and have fun"

Robin: Or tell them to go buy records!

Judy: and when you do something like that, ya know, some activity, it

turns people on to be invloved in a physical activity like a sport where

you can do together that you feel good about your body and thats it.

J: right

Gavin: Like soccer

J: So tell me, are you guys having a good time in the states?

Bush: Yeah

Gavin: Great time

J: and very successful over here compared to um your home country. its

revered.

Gavin: Well, yeah, it was good enough for the Pixies, so it's good

enough for us.

J: so your okay with that?

Gavin: yeah, we're fine with that... we don't have a record out in

England yet, so, as soon as it comes out... [cut off]

J: so, on Letterman on Friday? that was exciting.

Gavin: Yeah, it was nice and warm

Dave: Cold

Judy: its cold in the studio

J: Cold. everybody that says, thats been on Letterman we talk to.. "COLD"

Gavin: no the show was good, but its just...

J: did it help sell some records?

Gavin: I don't know, you have to ask someone else.

J: oh you guys dont follow, you dont pay attention to that.

J: uh.. Dawn, welcome to Lovephones.

Caller: Hello, how's everybody?

J: Good thanks

Caller: Okay, I'm 15 years old, and I'm very self-concious about my

chest, I have a pretty big chest for..

J: What size?

Caller: 38 double D

Robin: whoa

J: I bet you don't have problems getting dates.. not like that other

girl.

Caller: [sighs] no...

Judy: oh, come on...

Gavin: right on

Judy: Oh, your mean... do you like big breats, all you guys?

Robin: Well, I like the poeple, I'm not worried about...

Gavin: yeah...

Judy: Yeah, but does it matter? Does the size of a women's breasts

matter to you?

Gavin: No

Nigel: No

Robin: Absolutely not

J: Dave?

Dave: No

J: everybody says no

Judy: Oh my godness.. four Bush no's

J: okay

Judy: okay, there ya go, so you don't have to worry about that, does it

hurt your shoulders?

Gavin: But, but, if they're there, that's fine. That's alright I

wouldnt be ashamed of that...

Robin: haha, 'if they're there..'

Judy: So, does it shoulders, Dawn?

Caller: No

Judy: so what are you worried about? do you get pain in your back?

Caller: no, I just get made fun of a lot.

J: oh, the guys...

Bush: Oh, yeah...

Judy: what do they call you?

Caller: no, they just like, I'll be like walking around in school and

everything and they'll be like.. "whoa look at her.." or...

Gavin: ya know something? sorry to interupt you, but all those things

that you tend to get teased at at school, they tend to, in later life,

they turn to your advantage. so you shouldn't worry so much, and there

just jealousy.

Judy: now isn't that the truth

J: Very good Gavin

Judy: Very better... what did they tease you about Gavin in school?

[Laughter]

Robin: OHHHH!!! He had big breats!

Gavin: about the fact of going no where, and here I am.

Judy: they would tease you that you were going no where?

Gavin: well, ya know, just the possibility of not knowing where I might

end up.

Judy: He's a real no where man?

Gavin: and here I am, in New York on the radio, so hey, Fuck them...

J: oh yeah, LIVE radio too, thank you.. hello? stop or your gonna get

me in trouble...

Judy: So, I think thats very true, because look at Kim baysinger as a

case in point.. she grew up, evetybody was making fun of her fat lips.

and now what happened?

Gavin: she makes millions for them...

Jusy: yeah really.. and guess who else had fat lips who used to be made

fun of?

J: who?

Gavin: Betree Stow... (???)

Davin: Gavin....

Judy: our very own....

Robin: Mcjagger

Judy: Mcjagger, and somebody else after that... Aerosmith's Steven Tyler

Robin: oh did he?

Judy: yes, and he told me the story that when he was younger all the

kids used to make fun of him at school, and his mother said.."don't worry

when you grow up, they'll be better to kiss girls with" and then he went

to camp somewhere upstate... and people thought.. "Mcjagger's brother,

Mcjagger's brother!!!" and so instead of being upset about it, he got

totally into it..

Gavin: cool, enjoy the next period of your life

J: you understand that Dawn? I know your feeling bad, you sound like

you might be sniffling a little bit there...

Caller: yeah, I'm crying...

J: oh Dawn...

All: Awwwwwww....

Robin: and there we were waffling on

J: is it that bad?

Caller: Yeah, its like, the other day, I was with a bunch of my friends,

we were all chilling out at my house, and I came in to say something to

my friend, and she whispers to my other friend shes like.. "tell her how

high her shirt goes up...... (??????)

J: Oh, well what kind of friend is that??

Gavin: you should get her out of your house, throw her out, that's not a

friend of yours...

Judy: right... how mean

Gavin: dont worry about it

Robin: don't panic

J: but there's not really a lot you can do about that, because people

can be cruel.

Gavin: usually in the case of ignorance and jealousy, so dont worry

about it

Nigel: and you have to remember that when you leave school you don't

have to deal with these people, you just choose the people you see

Gavin: and you know that day you leave school? It's really good!

Nigel: its the best day...

Robin: absolutely

Caller: It's not just that, cuz sometimes in school, like I'll be

walking in the halls, and certain guys will try to grab them, and...

J: Yeah, sexual harassment in high schools is out of control

Robin: testosterone

Judy: so now here's the thing that's so important, you need, Dawn, to

show how strong you are because bullies like to make fun of people who

they can break down, that's the nature of what a bully does. So, if you

cry and feel bad about it then your just feeding them, you have to say..

"my breasts are beautiful, my body is beautiful, no one can take

advanatge of me, I am strong, I love myself" and then they can try and

grab your breasts, and you can just knock em right off you, just hit

their hand out of contempt, act compemtuous, and you will be powerful

over them, and they will not dare to touch your breasts.

J: okay?

Caller: Okay

J: alright we love you Dawn

Caller: okay, thank you

Robin: Hang in there

Gavin: take care

J: that is nasty though

Bush: yeah...

Judy: oh wait I forgot to say report them, its called harassment in the

hallways now.

Gavin: But she was so pleased